I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
