Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
