i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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