Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
