My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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