tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
