no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
