i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
