he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
