Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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