That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
being pregnant is like rehab
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
