I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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