you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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