Who wears a wallet chain?!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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