Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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