Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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We left an ass print on the piano.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just puked most of my soul out..
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