It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
