The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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