i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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