Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I deserve this hangover.
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