oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize