# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
