Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
