I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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