to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?