Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize