dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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