Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
