In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize