is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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