i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
