Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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