I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
