I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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