So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
