connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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