Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
