she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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