i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
