Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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