I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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