Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
