quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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