I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
