When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
