i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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