I hate your face
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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