My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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