where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
