is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
His hands were made for my vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
