Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
