he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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