I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
