I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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