Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
