what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
