He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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