Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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