is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
even my farts smell like vagina
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
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All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize