I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
