I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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