Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
