imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
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Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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