none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
