forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The uberlube is also flammable
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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