if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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