Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
